Laundry who? Laundry what?

Today I am wearing knee socks because that and white gym socks are the only things I have clean.  Where's the goddamned laundry fairy when you need her?  And why do I only run out of socks?

Unfortunately, I cannot ask for socks for Christmas. See there was this incident when my brother was six or seven. My dad was helping him buy presents for my sister and me. We got socks. Someone might have been mocked mercilessly. It might have been both my brother and my dad. So, socks at Christmas are a bit of a joke in my family. And I cannot reasonably ask for socks without justifying the earlier sock debacle. And I'm going to have to buy my own damned socks, which I'm totally okay with.